Everything I Love

by Conscripts

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released July 27, 2016

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Conscripts Anchorage, Alaska

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Track Name: Calloused Hands
All my life I've wanted something more than just a mediocre existance

I have always dreamed of a better place, and a better time but lately I have changed my way of thought

I have realized

There will never be a better place and time, than here right now to make an impact on the world

I would rather live in the present, than question the probability my future

This is the way that works for me

This is the way it has to be

My life is mine to control x2

My existance rests in the palms of my calloused hands

I will decide my fate, because noone can tell me who I am

I am noone but me

And even though, I walk this path alone

I am never truly lonely, there are others just like me
Track Name: Sleepless
I am unable to sleep
Every night it's the same damn thing, and I cannot handle my dreams;
Filled with desires my efforts couldn't achieve

Scared to death of the things that I see
My own mind is my worst enemy
I just can't seem to let things be

I constantly fight against everything
I never have any time to just breath

Wasting my time on these sleepless nights
I don't feel alright, I can't feel my eyes

These damages are all my own
And time heals no such wounds x2

I'll never be the same, wracked by so much change

Wasting my life on these sleepless nights
I'll never feel alright, I'll never close my eyes
Track Name: Teeth
I've been pulling teeth just to feel something. Reciting words that are not worth remembering

I've yet to find a way of letting go. my grip of stone, my hands have a will of their own

My mind has broken, shattered into
a hundred shards reflecting thoughts of you

I'll let them lay no need to waste my time cutting my fingers to the bone against your sides

You walked in and out of me like an open door. I can't remember the last face i saw that wasn't yours

I can't get you out my head
Why won't your memory stay dead
Track Name: Sick and Tired
Your lack of compassion created within me this crippling addiction to which i am enslaved

I'm finding slowly that i'm so fucking weak, and I'm the only one thats bending 'til I break

I'm sick and tired of feeling like I have nothing worth giving, like something inside me is wired the wrong way

You've made me question everything I felt. I wonder what it's like to live in your own world, to live with your lies coming unfurled

So Make believe
It's not hard to see
The truth is there
Within my misery

Play the victim all you want
You can blame me all you want

But, we both know who threw every stone through each and every window in this fucking home
Track Name: Drowning
I just can't hold my breath anymore. It's starting to rot my insides away to the core

I'm losing control of my self. I'm spiraling downwards to hell

My vision's fading, my life is waning

My heart is failing, the end is waiting

And in reality, I brought this all upon myself
Oh how I wish you held the key to unlock my god damned cell

I'm drowning in a well of my hopelessness. It's getting harder to catch my breath, with death's grip around my neck. Holding me under.

I am trapped inside, confined in my own mind

Im losing focus, I'm losing sight of who I used to be

I can't control this, so I'm letting go of everything

I wont bother holding on, because everything I love falls away
Track Name: If It Means Progress
I've dug deep inside myself too many times for me to count, and I have come to the conclusion

I know exactly who I am, and I know where I'm meant to stand

I have my own path to follow, I will not stop until I reach my goals

I will continue to live my life however I want to. Because I will do anything to make myself happy

I will not continue to waste my time being someone I'm not just to keep you around

I'm better without you

(I'm better without you)

As much as it pains me to admit, you were the closest thing to happiness that I ever had

But everything changes no matter how hard we fight back. Just don't hate me when you're left in my past

Because like it or not I am truly better without you, and I will find a way to move forward with my life and find happiness for myself

No thanks to you
Track Name: Open Up My Eyes
I'm trying so hard to make things work, but every day things seem to be getting worse

I can feel myself spreading too thin, I can feel your words under my skin

So worn, so weak. My thoughts are heavy; I just want to fall asleep. I can't seem to keep my mind off everything

So here I lay awake, and to myself I say
'Was it a mistake? Was it wrong of me to think that things could change? And did you ever feel the same?'

Time and time again. Every single day I feel my heart break in a hundred different ways.

Yet here I remain right by your side, swallowing my pride

Waiting for you to let me in out of this rain,
away from this pain

Instead I'm left cold and helpless. I lack the strength to fight this

I wish I could see where your loyalty lies. No matter how hard I try I can't seem to

Open up my eyes
I need to open up my eyes
Why can't I open up my eyes
Open up my eyes